Its 5 am on a Sunday morning. I shouldn’t be up. If I were back at school, it would be more appropriate.
Not today it isn’t.
I spent the last hour and a half watching my new favorite show “Flashpoint” and knitting. Yes, I enjoy the police drama with guns, violence, and aggression while pleasantly knitting away. It calms me down and its soothing. To each their own, eh?
I am currently in a state of awakeful-ness where sleep seems to be in a far off land. The last time I could actually go to sleep comfortably was out in BC. It’s interesting about me is that beyond my house, I have the best sleeps. When I was working out at camp, out like a light. At conferences and trips, catching some zzz’s. Out on the other side of the country, sleeping like its my job. Even at school when exams and papers were bombarding me, I could have easily gone to sleep. Yet, when I am at home, it just doesn’t happen.
This frustrates me, majorly.
I have tried everything too! Letting my mind go, writing in my journal, watching and/or reading something dull, knitting, even listening to this de-stress audio that relaxes you. Nothing seems to work. And it’s really affecting me, like right now, I am getting so goddamn, frustrated over everything.
For some reason, It seems that sleep makes me more stressed out than anything. My mind won’t shut up about things and then I keep thinking about them and then I can’t sleep. It’s a vicious cycle and it fucking driving me up the walls. But what I can’t understand is why at home am I going through this than anywhere else?
If anyone has any suggestion, please let me know! I want this to stop ASAP!